New 2 sentence reviews of the movies I have been watching recently.
Here are some quick reviews of all the random movies I’ve been watching lately. I will periodically move these titles down to the full A-Z list found HERE.
Peter Pan (1953) – Though there is a change of heart of sorts by the end, Pan is still pretty much a dick throughout this without much comeuppance. Though, I guess Neverland as a concept is still pretty cool for young children, racist and sexist warts aside.
The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) – The story was pretty shallow, even for a Batman movie, and as a character, Will Arnett doing a Christian Bale impression is woefully in need of being fleshed out. As for all the homages to the Batman mythos, I’ve seen better fan-service from The Big Bang Theory (the Sauron/Voldemort/Dalek alliance was especially underwhelming when you consider the potential).
We’re the Millers (2013) – Reasonably funny and fun, it’s just too bad that most of the characters are fairly unlikable. I get that that is what Sudeikis was going for, but it still doesn’t sell the viewer on why anyone would want to be a part of his surrogate family.
Good Night Nurse! (1918) – Fatty goes to rehab and the bizarre hilarity ensues. The usual cross-dressing and shenanigans happen, though the highlight has to be Buster coming out of the operating room covered in blood with with giant butcher knives.
Get Out (2017) – Smart, suspenseful and even fairly insightful horror film that probably has more than white guilt to thank for all the rave reviews.
Moana (2016) – I found the show-tunesy songs fairly grating, but, like Brave, the lack of a romance (why is showing people that want to fuck each other in cinema aimed at kids such a necessity) was appreciated, and the animation was, as usual, rather breathtaking. Still, I don’t think the fairly simple message and plot will bear too much scrutiny.
Signs (2002) – For most of the run time, this is a reasonably suspenseful (if a bit overdirected) slow burn thriller. Then I got to the ending and just about flipped the goddamn coffee table in a fit of “are you fucking kidding me?” rage.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016) – Linklater might just be America’s best working director, and this effortless film in the Dazed and Confused mold mostly makes that title justified. I only really have two complaints: first, the structure is a little too obvious in its railroaded journey through the main trends of 1980, and second, unlike Dazed and Confused, the nostalgia for bro-ing it up is perhaps a bit too idealized.
Captain Fantastic (2016) – Fairly predictable, but at least it is in a “yes, this is the way things need to go in this movie” way. Aragorn is excellent, the cast of kids is mostly good, the moralizing is only slightly heavy-handed, and the anti-religious undercurrent is quite appreciated.
Vampyr (1932) – Fantastic near-silent (aside from creepily muffled snatches of dialog) vampire film that is an absolute triumph of sinister, dreamlike atmosphere. The story is a bit slight, but it serves its purpose as the constantly moving camera masterfully follows the dream-walking protagonist.
Walk the Line (2005) – Phoenix and Witherspoon are as effortlessly brilliant as always, and the excellent music thankfully dominates the proceedings. It’s just too bad the in-between parts hew so closely the the usual biopic playbook–to the usual underwhelming effect.
David Brent: Life on the Road (2016) – I’m afraid to report that this is just as lackluster as the reviews have suggested–its combination of familiarity, and mean-spirited jabs at the pathetic is not exactly the greatest match. It’s not so much that the jokes bomb, it’s more that they kind of just sputter out, eliciting a few chuckles, but never approaching the creative and comedic heights of The Office even on its worst day.