Welcome back to Internet Meme Monday!  What is a meme you say?  Well, as I understand it, a meme is similar to a gene, except instead of passing on genetic information it passes on cultural ideas.  A meme can take many forms, from a catch phrase to a hand gesture, but the type of memes I’ll be looking at every second Monday of the month are “internet memes”.

On the agenda this month?  I ride this Keanu internet fascination thing into the ground!

Today I’ll be looking at a variation of the “4pane” meme.  Like the reaction guys from an earlier Internet Meme Monday, your basic 4pane is a series of 4 “exploitable” (as they are often called in the internet meme business) related pictures that tell a linked story.  You can see lots of different versions of these (of varying cleverness) on sites like www.comixed.com.  Anyway, one enduringly popular 4pane (or 5pane, 6pane, etc) is the Keanu Reeves staring contest.  Basically, no one wins a staring contest against Keanu…because, he has a blank stare and looks stupid or something.  I don’t know, it’s cute, so I went ahead and whipped up a couple variations on the theme.  I start with a typical Keanu staring contest 4pane and then quickly mine my interests (you know, old movies, metal, Conan, the usual) for more material, also of varying cleverness:

Staring Contest

Keanu Reeves VS That Nazi Dude With the Glasses from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Since I’m sure the powers that be will decide it will be a good idea to cast Keanu as the lead if they ever get around to making a Preacher movie, I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to say that his stare has the Nazi-face-melting power of the Ark of the Covenant.  Speaking of Nazis…

Mustache Growing Contest

Sam Elliott VS Adolf Hitler

Nobody, and I mean nobody, can grow as awesome a mustache as Sam Elliott.  Well, except for maybe Groucho Marx.

Sneering Contest

Sterling Hayden VS Dave Mustaine from Megadeth

See, if you knew and loved Sterling Hayden and Megadeth as much as I do, trust me, that one would have been mildly amusing!

Glowering Contest

Leslie Howard VS Humphrey Bogart

I’ve discussed how Leslie Howard’s “poet” from The Petrified Forest almost ruins the movie before.  But, I figured it bore repeating what a pussy that dude was in that movie again here.

Charging Contest

Buster Keaton VS Conan the Barbarian

I think that is one of the three great blunders right after Asian land war: “Never get in a charging contest with Conan”.  Oh, and if you haven’t seen Buster Keaton’s The General…spoiler alert on that last panel.