Lists
5 More Black Metal Cover Photo Cock Shots
In 2018 I did a post called “The Top 5 BEST Black Metal Cover Photo Cock Shots“–a tribute of sorts to a somewhat less rare than you would think trend in the black metal underground. I was unprepared for both how popular (based on my google hits since I posted it) the post would be,…
Read MoreThe Top 5 Features of Classic Male Movie Actors that Give the Ick
Classic films were a product of a different time. Different fashion, different hair styles, and different attitudes towards casual misogyny. So, when attempting to critique the look of the men vying for our attention in these olden times, we’ll naturally have to grade on a curve. And with all this in mind, today we’re going…
Read MoreTop 5 Best Eraser Brands to turn into dirty words
In the spirit of the start of the fall school semester, I thought I’d take a look at one small bright spot in what is otherwise a rather bleak trudge into adulthood. Nothing makes “listenin’ to some dipshit that doesn’t know what the hell he’s talkin’ about, anyway” more tolerable than finding ways to immaturely…
Read MoreTop 5 Best Bands with a “Goat” in their Name
There are a lot of things black metal bands love: monochromatic color schemes, renaissance fair cosplay, problematic immigration views…and an almost fanatical devotion to J. R. R. Tolkien. However, one thing all black metal fans (and all metal fans in general) can agree on is that goats are fucking sweet. I mean, sure, goats are…
Read MoreThe Top 5 Most Homoerotic NSBM Album Covers
The genre of Heavy Metal is absolutely no stranger to homoerotic album covers. For every album cover featuring an un-erotically posed dragon or wizard, there are at least TWO covers featuring oiled-up, ridiculously over-muscled barbarian dudes, standing there, “sword” out, nuts tooched, and completely overshadowing any half-clothed women that might be wrapped around their legs…
Read MoreThe Top 5 Best Black Metal Cover-photo Cock Shots
Black metal is a grim, hateful genre of music where misanthropy is celebrated above all else. In that spirit, today’s post will examine those rarefied black metal bands who have committed to perpetrating that grimmest and most misanthropic of all acts: sending an unsolicited dick-pic to their entire fan-base. Which, when I put it that…
Read MoreFive More Signs That the Underground Metal Band You Are Listening to Might be Racist
It’s been four years since I last posted about some of the subtle ways underground metal bands can mark themselves as a racist band, and I’m finally back to add another installment (of what will most likely be a lengthy series) of “STtUMBYALtMbR.” In the last four years, racist bands in the black metal underground…
Read MoreBritney Spears’ Top 20 Most Underrated Songs
Yesterday I had a hard time coming up with 5 overrated Britney Spears songs, today I had a hard time keeping my list of underrated songs under 20. With 9 albums under her belt, Britney has plenty of back catalog to choose from, so some hard cuts had to be made. I started by getting…
Read MoreThe Top Five Most Overrated Britney Spears Songs
Today’s Britney Week post was very hard to write. When someone has the depth of catalog, consistency, and is as legendary as Britney Spears, it’s gonna be tough to find any songs that are “overrated.” Even making a list of “worst” songs would be easier, every artist has a few clunkers, Britney included. But this…
Read MoreThe Top Five Best Gezol Crotch-shots from Sabbat Album Art
Sabbat is, quite simply, the greatest metal band of all time. Formed in Japan in the early 1980s, Sabbat has played a fucking DELIGHTFUL mix of black metal and dirty-as-a-ballsack thrash for over thirty years, never once selling out or even turning out a lackluster album–an amazing feat for any genre, let alone one as…
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