It's been four years since I last posted about some of the subtle ways underground metal bands can mark themselves as a racist band, and I'm finally back to add another installment (of what will …
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Metal Music
Manowar Lyrics: An In-depth Analysis
May 18, 2018
Manowar is like any other metal band...only more so. From their album covers to the lyrics they sing, Manowar oozes so much metal that SOME have claimed they veer into parodic territory. Thus, when it …
Isley and Brian liveblog the new Judas Priest
April 5, 2018
Recently, Brian and I decided to check out the new Judas Priest album, Firepower, and chat about our thoughts over Gchat as we listened. After we'd finished, I realized this might make a good feature …
Benny Interprets Heavy Metal Cover Art 1: Rainbow – Rising
February 20, 2018
In this new feature, I will take classic heavy metal album covers (objectively classic, not the subjective stuff I make fun of in my other heavy metal album cover art feature), and see how they …
Baby’s First Bedtime Black Metal Playlist
January 23, 2018
As any new parent will tell you, getting your baby to sleep regularly is priority number one. However, even when your child doesn't need to eat, burp, or have a shit filled diaper removed, their …
Blasphemy in Bethlehem: A Christmas Playlist
December 18, 2017
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I don't even care about all the Jesus stuff, there's just a special feeling in the air no matter how lame and preachy the second verse of God …
The Top Five Best Gezol Crotch-shots from Sabbat Album Art
October 17, 2017
Sabbat is, quite simply, the greatest metal band of all time. Formed in Japan in the early 1980s, Sabbat has played a fucking DELIGHTFUL mix of black metal and dirty-as-a-ballsack thrash for over thirty years, …
Underground Black Metal Memes
September 29, 2017
Memes are basically just in-jokes, references that people can feel special for "getting" as they endlessly scroll through Reddit in an attempt to fill the void in their soul. The most successful memes are accessible …
Album Artwork for the Ages 3: Torch – Electrikiss
August 31, 2017
Before one is fully able to appreciate heavy metal as a genre, one must first come to terms with the ridiculous imagery that is an integral part of the metal experience. Through some strange alchemical process, …
Before one is fully able to appreciate heavy metal as a genre, one must first come to terms with the ridiculous imagery that is an integral part of the metal experience. Through some strange alchemical process, …