Mailbag Monday 1

Hello dear readers!  Today you are in for a special treat: the start of a very new www.isleyunruh.com monthly feature!  That’s right, the first Monday of every month shall henceforth be MAILBAG MONDAY!!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact section of this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This time I answer the questions:

• How to make the big pancakes?
• How to make pancakes go wrong on me?
• Meaning of throthplighted?
• That’s what she said lord of the rings?
• Abbath a silly man?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my reader’s minds in the last month!

How to make the big pancakes?

I just take my recipe for normal pancakes, make them smaller, and then do the opposite of that.

How to make pancakes go wrong on me?

Boy, I really don’t know, I’d say you are on your own here.  And, as long as the pancakes are consenting I suppose this really won’t be a moral issue, but still, ew.

Meaning of throthplighted?

Sigh…next time you decide to get online to read crossover Office/Lord of the Rings Fanfiction, try to be a little more prepared ok?  Anyway, it means “engaged”.

Also, “Aragorn, you have sullied my throthplighted with your dalliances!” may just be the finest sentence I have ever written for this site.

That’s what she said lord of the rings?

Would you ask a Christian if you could eat nothing but corn for two days, borrow his bible and then spray it with a single barreled shotgun blast of shitshot?  No?  Well that’s how I feel about applying your crude humor to the “good book” (LotR), so no you can’t fucking “That’s what she said” Lord of the Rings!  If you knew the pain I felt to have my favorite scene in the mines of Moria ruined after a friend (now “EX” friend) of mine TWSSed “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” while gesturing at his crotch on opening night of The Fellowship of the Ring, you would understand my anger at your question.  Also, please capitalize “Lord of the Rings”.

Abbath a silly man?

Yes.  Yes he is:

That’s it for Maibag Monday this month!  Tune in the first Monday of next month when I answer such urgent questions as: “Can women say thats [sic] what she said jokes?” and “Why can there be only one?”…I’ll see you then!