Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again! On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!
What’s that you say? Do I really get that much mail? Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site. And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question. So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site. I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!
This month I answer the following questions:
- How to make the coolest origami dragon ever?
- Was John Wayne a pacifist?
- Rage true story?
- Black metal nerds?
- Role playing exercises d&d?
So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month!
How to make the coolest origami dragon ever?
Considering my interests I’ve made a few origami dragons in my time. I’d say the coolest one I’ve ever made is this one:
However, as much as it pains me to admit it, that is not the coolest origami dragon ever. The coolest origami dragon ever has to be this one (folded by the Japanese origami superstar Satoshi Kamiya):
I’ve never attempted to fold his Ryujin myself, but if you are familiar with crease patter folding, it shouldn’t be too hard. Basically, those who can fold from crease patterns can look at a picture of all the creases left on the paper of an unfolded model and figure out how to fold the finished product. So, if that is your thing, here’s the Version 3.5 crease pattern for Kamiya’s Ryujin:
As you can see, it’s pretty basic box pleating, nothing too fancy (though it does show Kamiya’s impressive use of asymmetrical crease patterns for symmetrical models). All you need to do is print that out, fold along the creases and you’ll have your very own totally awesome origami dragon! Also, you’ll need to use a 6 foot by 6 foot sheet of paper and will probably need about 2 months of solid folding to finish it. At least that’s what Kamiya needed.
Was John Wayne a pacifist?
I hope you are trolling here. I mean, we are talking about the man who gave this speech to the young republicans of America:
We are also talking about the man who has said:
“Get off your butt and join the Marines!” (though, like MC Hammer, he didn’t quite get around to taking his own advice)
So no, John Wayne wasn’t a pacifist. As John Wayne himself would say: “Pacifist? I’ve been called a lotta things, but that…”
Rage true story?
The Rage meme has been around for a while, and only seems to grow in popularity. What started as a simple fourpane comic that would always end with a guy screaming “fuuuuuuuuu….” has grown into a veritable pictographic language of faces for every reaction/occasion. The “true story” rage meme just uses a picture of NPH from How I Met Your Mother to assert the veracity of the four panel comic story you have just read. For my example I went ahead and created (with the help of the “challenge accepted” rage face) a comic that illustrates a “true story” from my recent past:
Sadly, though I have personally accepted the challenge, I haven’t been able to convince anyone to actually go see One for the Money with me. Still:
Black metal nerds?
First of all, all black metal musicians are nerds. As I recently explained to someone in the Metal of Death room on Turntable who claimed it was strange that I was into black metal and D&D, all black metal musicians are nerds. I mean, just do a google image search for Rob Darken (or any other underground black metal luminary) if you really doubt this claim.
But you didn’t come here to do your own google image searching. So here, for your monthly black metal bemusement, is one of my favorite black metal nerd pictures (from the back of Greek black metaler’s Nergal’s cd The Wizzard [sic] of Nerath):
I mean, robes, weapons and candles are pretty par for the course…but the choice of a full color photo and relatively clear lighting has revealed just how nonthreatening most black metal bands really are. I have also always liked this photo because that guy on the left is holding the exact same flail that Aaron and I bought on ebay way back in the Scholarship hall days for only $12!
I believe the conversation went something like this:
Aaron: “Holy shit, look at this flail, it’s only $12”
Isley: “OMG! Bid! Bid!”
Then when it arrived I found myself unable to resist getting medieval (literally) on the walls of the second floor hallway. I believe the conversation with our hall proctor the next day went something like this:
Nick: “what are all these holes in the wall with smaller holes inside them?”
Isley: “Hmm…I think those have always been there.”
Speaking of weapons that do 1d8 bludgeoning damage to walls…
Role playing exercises d&d?
I don’t know if everyone has heard, but I’ve got a pretty serious D&D game coming up this week. See, back in the day, I was part of an elite squad of Dungeons & Dragons players that played a continuing game for over 3 years. We were like a well oiled role playing game machine. I still remember the time we attended a town fair and completely ruined their boat race and dance competition, but that is the story for another day.
Sadly, people moved away and our elite squad of role players slowly dissolved…until today that is! That’s right, we’re getting the old team back together for one last job! And by “one last job,” I mean: “the most brutally epic Dungeons & Dragons game of all time. We’re going to start playing on Thursday evening…and we’re not going to stop until Sunday afternoon. I’m playing a 66 year old female witch, and here is a sample of the tiles that we are going to use:
Yeah, we aren’t fucking around (in case the idea of a 60 hour D&D game didn’t already tip you off on that account).
Of course, with a game of that length, I’m sure a lot of you (like this Mailbag Monday reader) want to know what type of exercises I have been doing to prepare myself. Well I’m glad you asked, I’ve made a list!
- Sitting Around – Aside from especially important dice rolls, D&D is largely a game of sitting. And just like how walking down a mountain can sometimes be harder than walking up a mountain, a large amount of sitting is no easy activity. Thus, I’ve put myself on a strict “sitting” regiment for the past couple months. At this point I’m fairly confident I’ll be able to sit for the entire 60 hour D&D game with only minor numbness in my lower extremities.
- Wrist curls – Rolling dice is no laughing matter. In a 60 hour D&D game, dice related wrist fatigue is a very real worry. Thus, I’ve incorporated a good deal of wrist curls into my normal sitting workouts. Because I’m not playing my munchkiny thief that dual wielded hand crossbows with rapid reload and ranged sniper sneak attacks that would often be able to roll 30+ dice for damage, I’ve gone for endurance over strength in my wrist curling workouts, but the principle is the same.
- Screaming – Everyone knows that D&D is 80% rules arguments, and thus, in a 60 hour game, no one wants to start a day’s gaming still hoarse from the previous night’s rule’s lawyering. Luckily the recording of the vocals for my recent black metal album was more than adequate preparation for any defense of my attempts to game the system in D&D.
That’s it for this week, be sure to check back in on Thursday for a LIVE BLOG (with 24/7 live video feed) of the entire D&D ordeal.
To be fair hammer officially changed his stance in this follow up track: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSNcG7jt6Wo