Mailbag Monday 49

(Due to my site being down because of copyright infringement shenanigans, I was unable to post this Monday, but not to worry, here you go, 6 days late!)

Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This month I answer the following questions:

• Descargar emperor / hordanes land?
• If u need a good grade is it ok to cheat on test?
• Fart?
• D&d combat simulator?
• Good sports meme?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month!

Descargar emperor / hordanes land?

For those of you who no habla Espanol, this person is asking where to download a copy of the classic Emperor/Enslaved split album that represents perhaps the best work from both bands.  The album is so good it even made my hallowed list of Mid-Month Metal Masterpieces!

Well, I’m sorry to say, that after having my website shut down for copyright infringement (specifically for someone claiming the rights to a background picture in a photoshop I did 4 years ago), I’ve learned my lesson.  The internet is not your personal kiddie pool within which you can just yellow the waters at will.  By downloading this album without paying for it, not only do you take money directly out of the hands of the people who worked so hard to bring you the music that you pretend to enjoy, you also prove that you are nothing more than a common thief.

Thus, no, I will not post a link to download this classic album, that would be wrong.  I am better than that. I’m not like those guys over at the Black Hateful Metal blogspot who think they can just brazenly post a free download link to this album:

http://blackhatefulmetal.blogspot.com/2013/05/emperor-enslaved-emperor-hordanes-land.html

Whatever you do, do not click on that.  You are better than that.

If u need a good grade is it ok to cheat on test?

Yes, but ONLY if you need a good grade.

Fart?

First of all, I’d like to say how impressed I am that my site can be found just by typing the word “fart.”  So, in order to live up to such an honor, sure, here’s a classic fart that I think you might enjoy:

D&d combat simulator?

Ok, this is tricky, it’s not easy replicating the brilliant and varied combat with is a typical D&D battle.  However, I think I’ve come up with a fairly accurate simulation.

First, go to this site:

http://www.roll-dice-online.com/

Now, you will need to enter the following numbers:

• For “Number of sides” you will need to enter “twenty (20, icosahedron, d20).”
• For “Number of dice to roll” enter “1.”
• For “Number of rolls” enter “1” as well.

Now, if you have done this correctly, you have made a perfect D&D combat simulator.  Just click “Roll dice” and if you get a 15 or higher, you have managed to get a hit on the creature that you are fighting!  Repeat one to two hundred times (with 10 minute pauses in between) to simulate an actual D&D session.

Good sports meme?

Sure, I’ve dabbled in sports memes before even though I don’t profess any real knowledge of any normal sports.  But sure, I can try my hand at that again.  However, “good” is for poseurs, how about we do an “EVIL” sports meme instead?  Thus, I give you Bill Self, the most KVLT college basketball coach of all time: