Mailbag Monday 58

Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This month I answer the following questions:

• Black metal gangsta rap?
• Most unbreakable alloy for a 3 foot sword?
• Dinosaurs shooting lasers?
• Lets fucking argue about it?
• Olympic cheating debacle?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month!

Black metal gangsta rap?

Though Unholy Black Metal and Gangsta Rap are actually quite similar, there is not a lot of actual black metal gangster rap out there.  However, the one notable example of just such a fusion came from one of last year’s best albums, Peste Noire’s self titled 2013 release, with the song “Niquez Vos Villes.”

I don’t know what else you would call this section but rap:

And while this section from later in the song is probably more just chanting than rap, it is an excellent example about how ridiculously brilliant Peste Noire’s newest album really is:

Not sure what the dude is rapping about in those clips, but I’m sure it’s a message of tolerance and acceptance for all cultures and styles of music.

Most unbreakable alloy for a 3 foot sword?

I’ll tell you what I told my ridiculously pedantic role playing group last week during a session of my homebrew role playing game based on the hit USA TV series Burn Notice.

After a heated argument about how the Iranian embassy (this in itself had already caused a heated argument about the notable non-existence of Iranian embassies in a country with no formal relations with Iran) at the edge of the Florida Everglades would not have a basement level due to the height of the water table.

After being asked what the basement was encased in, I replied: “Pretendium.”

Look it up, it sounds like exactly what you are looking for!

Dinosaurs shooting lasers?

Sounds pretty badass!  But do you mean regular lasers? Or water lasers?

Because, after a particularly heated argument with my ridiculously pedantic role playing group during a recent session of my homebrew role playing game based on the hit USA TV series Burn Notice, I would like to point out that using water to achieve the precision and cutting power of a laser is TOTALLY a thing:

Let’s fucking argue about it?

Though this phrase it meant to sarcastically shame the addressee into NOT arguing about it, I would say, that, in my experience, if you use this phrase with anyone, you are almost guaranteed to have an argument.

This phrase is also best avoided during sessions of my homebrew role playing game based on the hit USA TV series Burn Notice while playing with my ridiculously pedantic role playing group.

Olympic cheating debacle?

I assume you are talking about the incident during the men’s figure skating finals in Sochi this year when the figure skater Paul Ledney executed a perfect double lutz to win gold only to test positive for illegal satanic power just hours before the medal ceremony.  Still, you have to admit, it was a beautifully performed maneuver: