Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in January.
- Movies watched – 11
- Movies that were new to me – 9
- Number of rom coms that made me want to quit watching rom coms – 2.5
- Monthly Masterpieces – none
- Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach (2009) – Absolutely wretched “underdog” gross out comedy. I would say this is maybe partly just overly high expectations from me liking Stiffler and Harold and Kumar so much, but, no, this movie just plain sucks.
- A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) – Thankfully, the series does not continue the downward slide of the second film–this third installment is even slightly better than the second. I doubt they will ever approach the brilliance of the first, but for what it is, this is a very acceptable substitute.
- McLuhan’s Wake (2002) – Decent documentary about Marshall McLuhan that comes off as a bit static and dated. Still, I guess it has just enough information about him that the viewer will come away knowing a bit more than “he’s that guy from Annie Hall.”
- Wild Child (2008) – These kinds of shitty teen comedies can be kind of fun sometimes if the lead actress is capable of carrying a movie. This lead actress is not.
- Tanner Hall (2009) – Apparently this only got made because someone’s rich parents paid for it to get made (and then the lead actress got famous and it got released). Which explains a lot considering how fucking terrible the script is.
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) – The production design is almost as impressive as the seriousness with which the actors work their way through this confusing (and ultimately rather boring) mess of “real life” spy material. Watching this a few days after Thunderball can only be described as “a total boner-killer.”
- Gigli (2003) – Not the worst movie ever made, but it definitely makes some of the worst choices of all time with regards to subject matter and characterization. Almost worth it for J-Lo’s ass and Ben Affleck’s “worst O-face ever.”
- Thunderball (1965) – The last truly great Bond film, this is archetypal Bond from beginning to end. Anyone who tries to say that Connery wasn’t the best Bond of all time needs to watch this film again.
- Hooper (1978) – This kind of plays like a shittier version of something like Donovan’s Reef. The cast and crew are obviously having a good time, but there really isn’t much to recommend this beyond a few good stunts.
- Major League (1989) – Pretty enjoyable take on the “team of misfits” sports film genre. Silly at times, but thankfully the characters all land on the entertaining side of over the top.
- The Celebration (1998) – Rather brilliant portrait of a severely dysfunctional family. At its core, beyond the sensational subject matter, this is a thoughtful study on the interactions of a group–one of my favorite cinematic subjects.
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